Licohater is a monthly series of creatively-negative reviews of different licorice candies. Read what a liquorice-hater has to say about Hollandse Drop Licorice:
Hollandse drop licorice. It kind of looks edible from the outside. It even has a sugar coating and everything for the skeptical types who aren’t easily duped into eating ground up cockroach shells. The plan is to give this to small children who think, “ooo, candy! Let’s have some of that and start the long, and completely avoidable experience of slowly rotting your body from the inside out.” Or whatever it is children think. I’m not a mind reader.
But then, they actually give it a try and enter adulthood for the first time when they realize that something can look sweet and innocuous from the outside, but is actually made of broken dreams and lies on the inside. Where once they believed in happiness, that sense of innocent trust in the world is replaced with the crippling sensation that the universe might not care about them.
What was I talking about here? Oh, soft licorice. Yeah, same thing. Licorice wrapped up in the disguise of candy. Waiting to ruin some poor child’s day. The promise of sugar turns to wet dust and ipecac in their mouths, forever searing the desire for candy straight out of their brains - along with the capacity to trust or love.